Ancient,
Pre-Christian Celtic wedding ceremony is becoming more popular
Handfasting: As Forever As You Want To Be
by Michele
Neisler
In this age of
quickie marriage and instantaneous divorce, the ancient tradition of
handfasting makes more sense than ever. Handfasting is a binding
commitment between two loving persons that requires no bureaucratic
licensing to begin and no lawyers to undo. To those that choose to
handfast, the commitment is as deep and binding as anything cooked
up by City Hall. Indeed, a handfast can last forever, so long as
love remains. Even death cannot end a handfasted union; there is no
'til death do us part' in the ceremony.
Originally a
Celtic tradition, handfasting has been adopted into many New Age
philosophies and is practiced quietly worldwide. There are two basic
types of handfast: the first to signify a betrothal, traditionally
for 'a year and a day'. If all goes well and after the
year-and-a-day the two intended lovers are still up for it, a second
handfast binds the two forever --heart, mind, body and spirit-- for
as long as love remains. The only thing that can undo a handfast is
a lack of love.
Most often,
the handfast ceremony takes place outdoors, in as natural a setting
as can be found. One of the loveliest ceremonies this writer ever
attended was on a rooftop in San Francisco, above the city and under
the stars. There were pots and barrels overflowing with plants and
flowers and thousands of tiny, colorful lights entwined throughout.
The loving couple just happened to be two men, radiantly in love and
rainbow-hued, flowing silk robes. One wonderful thing about
handfasting is that the participants are not bound by restrictive,
excluding laws. The only requirement to join another by handfast is
true and abiding, requited Love.
Usually, the
handfasting ceremony is presided over by an elder of whatever
spiritual group the betrothed belong. Sometimes the couple chooses
to do their own, private ceremony. So long as their intent is
correct and love is true, there really is no 'wrong' way to handfast.
Some basic elements are typical-- words and gestures are offered,
acknowledging reverence for nature and the elements. Ancient
ancestors are invited and kindly spirits invoked. The betrothed gaze
lovingly and deeply into one another's eyes and whisper promises to
each other as the elder gently binds their wrists together with a
red cord. This is the actual 'fasting' -- the red cord signifying
love and knots indicating the tender bondage of their mutual
commitment. Thus the saying, to 'tie the knot'.
Indeed a
handfast is one of the most delightful Pagan celebrations. It is a
time of joyous revelry and magical merriment. It's a perfectly
wonderful reason to dress in fanciful, flamboyant garb and wear
flowers in one's hair. Sometimes, after the ceremony, the
newly-wedded couple jump over a broom, leaping together into their
new life as one. Traditional 'cakes and ale' or other delicious
treats are shared afterward and guests are encouraged to dance and
cavort well into the night. Love is always worth celebrating;
handfasting is a time-honored way of making a truly heartfelt
commitment to never-ending love.
About the
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