Sacred
Sexuality
by Jack Schafer
I
believe that the most important aspect of living is love, and our ability
to express that love with others. Love is not only subjective in itself,
it represents something different to everyone, and within our own
definition of love we never feel it or express it the same with anyone we
meet. Thus "love" is an entire language within itself...and unfortunately
the English language has but one word to define it. Is there any doubt
that it is the most misused and misunderstood word that we can express to
another. I have always been a disciple of love, and I have a large portion
of my life exploring its range of interpretations by others and the range
of feelings that it has allowed me to explore. For me, the difficulty is
trying to put these feelings into words - and especially a single word
Love... read: about love. This personal
journey has allowed me the opportunity to experience so much more than I
would have ever wanted to expose myself to... it is where I have been able
to expand my knowing and range of feelings... shown me the experience of
the highest levels of passions that I could ever imagine, and the depths
of pain and agony that I felt no human being could survive. A range of
feelings that I could no more express in one word as I will be able to
experience in one lifetime. I have come to the realization that within my
own exploration of these feelings, it is only through the experience of
one extreme that I have a scale to measure the opposite. The most
intensive pain I have experienced expanded my desire to greater explore my
bliss. For me, sex pretty well started off about the same as it did for
most. I started by exploring myself using other peoples passion and
pictures to stimulate myself... thinking that I was doing something wrong
at night under the sheets... normal people don't do this. Even getting
caught a time or two and being told that somehow if I played with myself,
I could go blind. I bought Aspirin on the school yard having been told the
virtues of Spanish Fly, and after probably curing a few 5th grade girls
headaches, I figured that if I was going to get to experience something
beyond the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours", I was going to have
to find the courage to ask. So with a dick that I was afraid was smaller
than most, and looks that were just average, and the physique of a typical
13 year old, I found I had developed balls large enough to ask, and find
out that these girls were as curious as I was... they just (during the
70's) didn't have the balls needed to ask, so I courageously developed a
bit if a following. (For guys, unlike girls, it's a good reputation to
have !) It was during those early years that I learned that the female
body was the most beautiful formation of parts that God has ever created.
I also learned that sex, be it under the sheets or slamming in and out of
a partner (at the time for about 1 minute) did not satisfy me at all... it
was the female sexual experience that captivated my curiosity and actually
completed my own experience. I found out that "Dick" himself, had very
little to do with that. I learned to use my fingers... and then my
tongue... and most important, because my objective to bring forth the
ultimate experience in my partner, I learned how to become ONE with with
the sexual experience itself... sharing in my partners climaxes and to
stay focus on the journey rather than the destination. To me, the female
sexual experienced was the definition of sexuality the depth in which they
could feel, and the fact that they could stay with those feelings over and
over, so much longer.. and over the edge so many more times. What guy
wouldn't like to know more about this? This pilgrimage didn't happen
overnight, but once I knew that my own need could only really be fulfilled
through my partner, I never stopped exploring for new and different ways
to accomplish that. No two woman are alike (in case you didn't know...)
and no two sexual experiences (except maybe just going out and getting
laid) are even remotely similar... not in their physical expression, and
certainly not in the experience. Before I go
any further, I want to tell you that there are so many down sides to what
I have done... I'm not sure that I would learn the need to love like this
again, and I know that most woman and men, are not able to let go and
experience the level of passion that I am seeking... and when they do,
they'd better be ready for what happens, because when two people come
together and open themselves to express their ultimate inner passions
together in such a totally intimate way... neither will ever be the same
for having gone there, and a unique love (that word again)... and a bond
is formed that will always be. That bond does not have to be overwhelming
or life-changing... I've explored this depth of passion with many
beautiful woman and we've never seen each other again, but in some way...
we will always be connected, and to me, I can only define that connection
as love. What I am explaining here is not
unique... it even has a formal name, and to most people the name (without
the understanding and experience) only defines a different way to screw. I
can only feel sorry for those who don't get it... knowing the name is not
at all understanding the "art". Personally, I knew the art years before I
knew the name... I called it Spiritual Sex, and later in my life I
shortened the name to Making Love, but as often as Ive heard the term, I
know that few know the experience if so, why would so many people run
around just trying to get laid and convince themselves that they have
satisfied some physical need. Compared to Making Love, getting laid is
just another form of prostitution, and for what you get out of it, you'd
have been much better off by yourself under the sheets... you won't go
blind. I promise! There are books that explain
the "how to", and clinics that claim to teach it in a weekend seminar.
Knowing this, I personally can't imagine how to teach an experience, when
most adults that have experimented with sex already believe they know what
a good lay involves. For those of you who might want to venture into this,
I can only warn you that you will experience more "love" than you have
ever known possible... and please remember that we measure most things in
life by their extremes, and the true expression of Lovemaking (in this
form) is no different. The greater the experience - the deeper the pain. I
personally believe that any male or female can experience this level of
intimacy, and I'm confident that there are as many paths to reach it as
there are people to explore it. In the simplest of terms, start by
exploring the following...
Forget everything you ever knew about having sex. Once you experience this
form of sharing (making) love, all the rules will change. This is where
the term size really does not matter (we all know in screwing, that's not
the case). You will also have to leave your inhibitions outside of this
experience. Maybe sharing a nice bottle of a nice Red Vintage will act to
help you to stop thinking...(Liquor: the original social lubricant...)
Feeling and thinking simply do not work together well... especially here.
Don't have a deadline, or measure your performance by the 3 minute mile...
Time stops here and there simply are no physical measurements...or
rules... or even objectives. You are simply going to be exploring ever
moment of the experience, and the stopping point does not involve rolling
over and lighting up (and you'll never need to ask "was that all right for
you ???). Start by simply wanting to serve each other (not fuck each
other...), but think of giving (not taking) all that you can. Remove each
others clothes... slowly... there is no race here. STOP and savor the
beauty... the naked human form IS not only an erotic thing... it is a
beautiful perfect art form, and should be totally devoured visually, and
by every other sense available. Dammit guys FORGET ABOUT DICK He is your
worst enemy in this experience at this point, and this is not about him
anyway. This is all about feeling and touching and exploring, and you'll
find that the actual climaxes that you experience become an intricate part
of the experience, not a concluding factor. Massage is a good technique to
get started, but it's the brain massage that we're wanting to build up to.
Look in each others eyes... run your fingers through each others hair...
lay close enough to feel each others heartbeat, obviously you WILL
continue to get more and more "turned on", but help each other to control
that so you can each experience this moment... not what it is building up
to. Tell each other how you feel, and the felings you have always desired.
Again, time doesn't matter. The longer you allow this
to happen, and the more "turned on you allow each other to become, the
more intimate the experience. When it is finally time to join together
sexually, do so with intent. Find a position that is comfortable to both
of you and feel the entrance. Verbally share the feeling of joining
together totally join together as deep as possible, and then don't move...
not a muscle. Im not crazy just FEEL this moment... experience this, and
now is the time to look deep into each others eyes... touch each others
lips (both sets are ok...)... you're holding back the urge to move
together, but you will feel a climax building anyway... without movement,
your thrusts will come from the muscles deep inside out of control, but
YOU are not moving with them. You are just feeling them, and you will feel
them build, and build and build and when they reach the peak that you
would normally start shouting your hail Marys, just hold on to that moment
and dont go over the edge. Hold on concentrate on the climax...
concentrate on the feeling... concentrate on looking so deeply into each
others eyes that you can see into their soul... feel into their soul, and
ultimately the two of you will feel as one. It is from THIS place that you
are ready to totally experience each other. You will probably climax
together this first time without the "traditional" moving... you'll simply
explode together, as one. Feel each others climax, but feel them as one,
and don't stop looking deeply into each others eyes. Hold each others face
in your hands... SEE the climax on your partners face, see the feeling...
become one with it. Once you've gone this far, I'm confident that three
things have happened. 1. You have for (maybe)
the first time experienced the real passions of sexual intimacy.
2. You will realize that there IS no starting or
stopping point, you can both go on to experience climax after climax "AS
ONE..." and there is no measurement of good or bad this experience that
two people can share goes beyond measurement when you do have to get up,
you'll; have no idea of the numbers of times you climaxed... things are
different now. 3. You will feel nothing but
"Love" for the person that you have experienced this with... maybe love
for the first time, maybe as if this is the first time you've had sex...
certainly the first time you have known "Making Love"... really...
and (this is not guy stuff to talk about), but most lovemaking sessions
like this tend to bring up such complete emotions that part of your
laughing together, and playing together and climaxing over and over
together, will probably involve just holding each other tighter than you
have ever need to, and crying together. I don't know exactly why, but this
level of intimacy together generally opens emotions that have rarely if
ever been felt. Love making can happen in an
hour it can go on for many hours or even days there is no other
measurement than the feelings that you have shared as one and believe me
guys, if you think your climaxes are generally pretty good, you've never
experienced anything until you climax as one over and over again with this
lady that you are making love with. Please be
careful however... this is NOT something to play with. After this
experience, you'll never look at sex the same way again. When it comes to
just being horny, you'll know that you really are better off under the
covers with yourself (and you won't go blind). You'll also know the depths
of passion that two people are capable of experiencing together... and the
feeling will be like an awakening of something that you have always known
existed but never knew where to find it. You'll also never ever forget or
get over this experience - it will be a part of both of your beings
forever... and most important, you'll realize how much you have simply
been prostituting yourself getting laid by a bunch or strangers... so
don't play with this with a bunch of strangers, don't open yourself this
deeply with anyone who is not as serious to experience this as you are.
Know that you are allowing someone to share your soul, and you are sharing
the soul of another human being, and this is so totally different from
going out and getting laid, that you'll want to stop playing away your
opportunities. What if you should meet this perfect person the one that
you KNOW you want to experience this with, but before you give yourselves
the opportunity to realize it, you've gone out and fucked things up.
Sampled the pleasures and given away the trust, respect, and honor, that
is so important to develop a foundation where this depth of love can be
shared. When the right time comes, you'll know
it. When the right person appears you'll know it. This is certainly not
for everyone, and most will just read over this, pack it away, and
continue spreading themselves around to satisfy some built up urge or ego.
If this DOES sound like something that you know inside is yours to
experience, wait for the perfect person to appear they will and when they
do (don't screw it up... make sacred sex happen in your life. You'll never
be the same!
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