Christian joy
can and should include the ecstasy of erotic love
Spirituality and Sexuality Belong Together
by Kaye Wray,
Ph.D.
Quality,
passionate sexual intimacy, especially for women, requires an
integration of body, mind and spirit. Yet that intersection of body
and spirit has often been frustrated by religious tradition.
Some religious
teachings separate body from Spirit, declaring body to be bad and
spirit to be good. Any commitment, therefore, to the good things of
the Spirit requires (according to these teachings) one to avoid the
feelings and passions of the body, or at least to keep them under
tight control.
While the
western culture nurtures a certain "macho" sexual bravado in men,
women who care for things of the spirit are still expected to remain
chaste and generally uninterested and uneducated in things erotic or
sexual. This expectation has contributed, however, both to a
reduction in the woman's sexual joy experienced within marriage and
to frustration on the part of both partners within a relationship.
As a Christian
and as a Christian woman, I urge the re-evaluation of theologies of
body that have forced a separation of body from mind and spirit. The
doctrine of the Incarnation (that is, the Christian assertion that
God became flesh / human being in Jesus) reminds us that God has
honored and made holy the human body. The human body is holy, not
because it is kept separate from the spirit, but because it is
integrated with Holy Spirit.
Eros (the
Greek word generally understood to mean erotic, physical love) and
agape (the Greek word generally understood to mean spiritual love)
are not two different kinds of love. They are, in their essence, two
manifestations of the one Love, who is God.
To reclaim our
bodies as good and to reclaim sexual passions as good reaffirms both
creation and redemption. Christian responsibility in areas of sexual
intimacy can then include response-ability, the ability to respond
with joy to the ecstatic possibilities of erotic love.
Let this be a
call for a new model of intimate relationships. Spirituality and
sexuality belong together. Stop separating the love of God from the
love of our bodies. Start celebrating passionate intimacy. By doing
so we honor the Source of all Love.
About the
author: Intimacy Educator Kaye Wray, Ph.D., a teacher and
researcher, has spent over 35 years paying attention to women's
sensuality and sexual responses. She shares that information with
women, men and couples who are serious about improving their
relationships. Women, to learn more, go to
http://www.thepassionyoudeserve.com. Men, go to
http://www.thepassionyoucrave.com.
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